Parents of 2016 Graduating College and University classes….. Are you prepared? Do you have a plan? They will be back moving back into your home. Why not welcome them with open arms, joy and support while at the same time respect, guidelines and agreed upon expectations. Lovely to have them move back in with a pre thought out date to move back out.
March, April, get prepared - May, June enjoy their homecoming!
Time to start thinking about your Adult Child who will be moving back home upon graduation from University/College. Right now is not to early to get prepared. Yes, you want to help them and no, you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle. Set guidelines and rules for your new living arrangement but do it with love and compassion. Treat your young adults with respect and give them the benefit of the doubt. If you address them as an adult you are continuing lessons of good parenting and preparing them for a life outside the college dorm and the comfort of the family home. From the beginning be clear with your new arrangement….. a landlord would. This is why I suggest you start the process now. Know what the new living arrangement will look like. Think about this new living situation - every year "kids" (who should now be taken seriously as young adults) move back into the family home and every year most of the same issues need to be addressed. So before they start of moving back in with you dear parents get prepared. Clarity is everything! Guidelines create boundaries and boundaries create respect. Addressing the issues below can help you help them. It's what I call taking 'a sane approach to an emotional issue' by preventing misunderstandings which can lead to unhappiness, anger and resentment. Don't get mad after the fact as your new young adult may not even know they have offended you. Put it in writing.
Some issues to address with clarity and guidelines:
1) Move out date - moving in is the easy part!
2) Living arrangements - What will that look like?
3) Money - Yours, theirs or combo?
4) Social Guidelines - What are they?
5) Household Policies - Most families have them.
6) And additional family dynamics - Between your family.
7) Consequences - What are they? Always important, need to addressed upfront and followed through.
Don't wait until the last minute…..create a plan! Then write it down!!
Over the next few months I'll be writing more about Adult Children Moving Back Home.
Deborah Hutchison - Creator of Family and Friend Agreements